This morning I was reminded of how important perception is to the way we live in this world together. I was tuned into a local radio show when a listener called in to ask a question of the shows staff about his upcoming nuptial name dilemma. His fiance wanted her name to be altered by keeping her last name as a middle name and adding his name last. This was accepted almost unanimously with the listening audience.Now for the twist, she asked that he do the same; use her middle name and his last name. My initial thought was, if you feel compelled to change your name for nuptial sake, what a great compromise! However, my thought process seemed lost in translation.
I was astonished at the reactions and response to this question. The male audience response was overwhelmingly negative. Admittedly in retrospect, I didn't find this part so shocking. However, I found the female response astonishing! Apparently these women were suffering a knee-jerk reaction to the perceived mentality of an archaic mindset pre-programed years earlier. A myriad of responses from women callers came in which included such un-reasoned responses as, "no, because she is setting a precedence of wearing the pants and him wearing the skirt" (aka, you're 1950's response); to "it will cause problems for him by having to change his documents" (poor him, as if she doesn't have to do the same); to "just do it, no one will know" (the ethical response?); to "the man doesn't do that,(the just cause clause); and "it's not accepted"(the pre-programed archaic mind-set robotic response). As I sat there utterly stunned at these responses, it made me wonder, how far have we come? Or, perhaps the better question, how far have we yet to go? It was looking as if the answer to these question were, not very far, and a long way baby!
So ladies, what's up? We profess the desire for equality among the masses, yet we still insist on robbing ourselves of our identity to satisfy the needs of others? Are we willing to give away our individualism without analyzing and formulating a reasonable response? This general "acceptance" of nuptial name swapping was deemed "appropriate" in a "man" made world of rules and regulations many years ago. Let's face it, it stood for your father passing ownership of you to ownership of your husband! I don't know about you, but the only one I want to be owned by is me! Now don't get me wrong, in the spirit of free choice, if taking on your man's name is what you want, more power to you! Been there, done that, when I was young and under the control of the masses; just keep the options open for the rest of the "free" thinking world without judgmental pre-dispositions!
So, what are habits? Habits are tricky little mind control programs. Are we able to reboot and re-create our controls? Amazingly, yes we can! As we have created social habits, so too can we re-create them to meet a new criteria of modern day living. Repetitive thought patterns processed at a conscious level form patterns that embed into our subconscious mind. In turn, this sub-conscious action causes us to act or perform these thought habits without reason. If we begin to re-think and reason through why we have these archaic thought patterns, it stands to reason, we can begin to change them and refresh or reboot our programed behaviors to a new standard of living. Sustaining life with new growth potential allows the perception of endless possibilities that will manifest within us. This manifestation creates the perception of our new reality. So you see, freedom of choice is within your grasp. Keeping an open mind will allow you to not only accept your choice, but accept the choice of others.
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